Tag: sexual assault
cw: rape, sexual assault, violence . . . . Folks, especially men: when you hear about sexual assault or rape, your first response should not be to threaten violence. “I’d kill a rapist” is something that we frequently hear from loud, male feminists as a knee-jerk response to hearing about sexual violence. Offers to fight … Continue reading Violence Towards Sexual Assailants
Sexual Behaviorism I work as a sexual behavior specialist for adults with intellectual disabilities. That means that I work with clients to help them make healthy behavior changes within the realm of sexual needs. Okay, so…what does that mean? Behaviorists believe that every behavior has a cause. No action appears out of the blue. We … Continue reading Birth Control and Intellectual Disabilities
Can you fix a toxic relationship? How about an abusive one? If you’re in an abusive relationship, the first step is to ask yourself if you really want to fix your relationship. An abusive partner does not respect you. They think that they are entitled to control your existence and your experience as a human. … Continue reading How to Fix Toxic or Abusive Relationships
How sexual trauma can affect sexual attraction and orientation, and the implications for queer fights and queer rights. A lot of times when someone comes out of the closet as queer, ignorant people assume that it’s because they’ve experienced sexual trauma. They figure, someone must have hurt this person to make them no longer want … Continue reading Sexual Trauma and Queer Rights
So, what *should* a community do when one of their members has been accused of abuse? At its conception, the community needs to make a choice: Is their policy “believe victims, eject abusers” ? That’s a valid approach. It means that people will lose out on a communal social resource for misunderstandings, co-dependent toxic dynamics, … Continue reading How Should a Community Respond to Abuse?
If you kill someone by accident – by driving distracted, by using improper building materials, by not monitoring food safety in a restaurant, etc – you’ve still killed them. They’re still dead. And you still go to court, because you killed them. You cut corners, you didn’t follow the rules, you didn’t pay attention. You … Continue reading Negligent Sexual Assault
This was inspired by a conversation about Aziz Ansari, as you can likely guess. Imagine if I made you a sandwich. I was being very nice to make you a sandwich! But you’re full, or allergic to what I made, or you don’t like wheat bread, or whatever. And I WANT you to eat … Continue reading Sandwiches as a Metaphor
CW: sexual assault, Aziz Ansari analysis The goal of sex is not to “convince” your partner to have sex with you. The goal of sex is not to “get away” with something Over the weekend, a woman shared her story about being sexually assaulted by Aziz Ansari. I do … Continue reading Uncoerced Sex
“So-and-so is the latest person to be accused of sexual assault/harassment/abuse.” “Gross, I never liked him anyway.” That’s honestly zero percent helpful, guys. It doesn’t matter one teeny tiny bit whether or not you liked this dude who has been accused of sexual assault. Society likes this dude, or the media does, or he has … Continue reading I Never Liked Him, Anyway
I’m not sure how best to phrase this, but: While we’re focusing on sexual assault and trauma and harassment as survivors, please remember to spare some time and effort to fight against racism this week. I know we’re overwhelmed and experiencing PTSD and flashbacks and trauma and exhaustion. I know it. Believe me. Just, if … Continue reading Don’t Forget to Fight Racism
Cerebral Sexuality 