Tag: emotional growth

How to Fix Toxic or Abusive Relationships

How to Fix Toxic or Abusive Relationships

Can you fix a toxic relationship? How about an abusive one? If you’re in an abusive relationship, the first step is to ask yourself if you really want to fix your relationship. An abusive partner does not respect you. They think that they are entitled to control your existence and your experience as a human. … Continue reading How to Fix Toxic or Abusive Relationships

No Rewards for the Bare Minimum

No Rewards for the Bare Minimum

On a weekend trip to Boston, several years ago, I met a cute guy at a club. We danced and made out, and at the end of the night we made plans to meet up at his place for a pancake breakfast the next morning. After a horrible trudge through the snow in sneakers, and … Continue reading No Rewards for the Bare Minimum

How Should a Community Respond to Abuse?

How Should a Community Respond to Abuse?

So, what *should* a community do when one of their members has been accused of abuse? At its conception, the community needs to make a choice: Is their policy “believe victims, eject abusers” ? That’s a valid approach. It means that people will lose out on a communal social resource for misunderstandings, co-dependent toxic dynamics, … Continue reading How Should a Community Respond to Abuse?

Transitioning the Burden of Emotional Labor

Transitioning the Burden of Emotional Labor

Doing emotional labor is only easier for adult women because we’ve been doing it our entire lives.   We’ve always been expected to carry the weight of solving our relationship problems, and to hold the burdens of our loved ones’ difficulties. By the time we’re adults, we’ve been navigating our own minds and needs for … Continue reading Transitioning the Burden of Emotional Labor

Learning Spaces Cannot be Safe Spaces

Learning Spaces Cannot be Safe Spaces

One of my professors said something to me that I hated when I first heard it. He said, “learning spaces cannot be safe spaces.” I resisted that concept initially, because it seemed counterintuitive and unfair. I should always be able to ensure that my classroom, that the online groups where I moderate, that meetings with … Continue reading Learning Spaces Cannot be Safe Spaces