On a weekend trip to Boston, several years ago, I met a cute guy at a club. We danced and made out, and at the end of the night we made plans to meet up at his place for a pancake breakfast the next morning. After a horrible trudge through the snow in sneakers, and … Continue reading No Rewards for the Bare Minimum
“Why do some people object to police in uniform at Pride events? Don’t all large events have a police presence?” “Why are some queer people boycotting Pride events?” Well, we have to start off by looking at the history of the Pride movement. In the 1960s, the police harassed gay and lesbian bars (there wasn’t … Continue reading Why Shouldn’t Cops Be at Pride?
It's pride month! I'm going to do a quick breakdown of the pride acronym and share a few variations! The most common acronym that you'll see around is LGBTQ . You'll also get LGBT, LGBTQIA, LGBTQIAP, LGBTQ+, LGB, QuILTBAG, etc . These letters stand for: Lesbian – a woman who is primarily or exclusively attracted … Continue reading June is Pride Month
So, what *should* a community do when one of their members has been accused of abuse? At its conception, the community needs to make a choice: Is their policy “believe victims, eject abusers” ? That’s a valid approach. It means that people will lose out on a communal social resource for misunderstandings, co-dependent toxic dynamics, … Continue reading How Should a Community Respond to Abuse?
cw: abuse What happens when your abuser has more social capital than you do? Something that I see often is consent-driven communities that have an abuser problem. Why does this happen? Because the community is hierarchy based (as all communities are), and doesn’t have a way to address, let alone remove, abusers with … Continue reading Abusers with Social Capital: What Happens?
What are we asking for men to do when they hear another man say something inappropriate? Say “hey, whoah, that’s not cool,” IN THE MOMENT. Don’t come up to women afterwards and say “man, that was weird, wasn’t it?” or “I’m so sorry he said that, I could tell it made you uncomfortable,” or … Continue reading What Should Men Do?
One of my professors said something to me that I hated when I first heard it. He said, “learning spaces cannot be safe spaces.” I resisted that concept initially, because it seemed counterintuitive and unfair. I should always be able to ensure that my classroom, that the online groups where I moderate, that meetings with … Continue reading Learning Spaces Cannot be Safe Spaces
Important reminder for anyone working in software development, IT, data analysis, or any other field where you’re looking at data about humans or creating computer/AI tools: If someone asks you to create a tool or report that gathers people by category, you NEED to ask yourself “what harm could be done if this information got … Continue reading Responsible Data
Something many white people don’t understand is the desire by black people to spend their money in black-owned businesses. It looks insular and unwelcoming. “Why do you care if the person who owns the shop is black?” we wonder. “You need to buy a thing, buy it in the best place to get it, right?” … Continue reading Black-Owned Businesses
Political action! You may have heard that the horrifying tax bill passed in the Senate. This is true. However, remember your lessons from Schoolhouse Rock and note that this bill is NOT YET A LAW. The version that the Senate passed is different from the version that the House passed, so now they have to … Continue reading Fight the Tax Bill