Tag: consensual sex
Sexual Behaviorism I work as a sexual behavior specialist for adults with intellectual disabilities. That means that I work with clients to help them make healthy behavior changes within the realm of sexual needs. Okay, so…what does that mean? Behaviorists believe that every behavior has a cause. No action appears out of the blue. We … Continue reading Birth Control and Intellectual Disabilities
In my post on the difference between enthusiastic consent and explicit consent, I mentioned that in long term relationships, people sometimes have motivations for sex other than libido. People have sex to build intimacy, try to get pregnant, release stress, for relationship maintenance… There are a ton of reasons to get up close and personal … Continue reading On Being “Seducible”
How sexual trauma can affect sexual attraction and orientation, and the implications for queer fights and queer rights. A lot of times when someone comes out of the closet as queer, ignorant people assume that it’s because they’ve experienced sexual trauma. They figure, someone must have hurt this person to make them no longer want … Continue reading Sexual Trauma and Queer Rights
Something that I sometimes hear from sex positive educators and adults is “if people aren’t comfortable talking about sex, they shouldn’t be having it.” And like, okay, that’s a really valid desire. I *also* want to make sure that everyone is communicating clearly and explicitly about everything, and especially something so risky and complicated as … Continue reading Negotiating Sex with Shy People
Today, I'm talking about kinks that mimic illegal or unethical acts. So content warning for discussions of pedophilia, rape, incest, and other stuff that is bad. . . . . . . . . . . . . . First, I'm going to define some kink terms and dynamics, for those who are unfamiliar: … Continue reading Consensual Kinks Aren’t Unethical
This was inspired by a conversation about Aziz Ansari, as you can likely guess. Imagine if I made you a sandwich. I was being very nice to make you a sandwich! But you’re full, or allergic to what I made, or you don’t like wheat bread, or whatever. And I WANT you to eat … Continue reading Sandwiches as a Metaphor
Enthusiastic versus Explicit Consent: When you first meet a sex partner, and you’re asking for clear and verbal consent, the last thing you want is a lackluster reply. “Can I go down on you?” “Uh, sure, I guess so.” That response is technically a “yes,” but it certainly doesn’t sound like a person who wants … Continue reading Enthusiastic versus Explicit Consent
Given the news about Kevin Spacey and Anthony Rapp (take a minute to Google it, if you haven’t read; I’ll wait), I’d like to talk about alcohol and sexual assault. A few days ago, I posted screenshots of a tweet thread about drinking and sexual assault, and I’m going to expand on that. Numerous people … Continue reading Drinking and Consent
Cerebral Sexuality 