cw: rape, sexual assault, violence . . . . Folks, especially men: when you hear about sexual assault or rape, your first response should not be to threaten violence. “I’d kill a rapist” is something that we frequently hear from loud, male feminists as a knee-jerk response to hearing about sexual violence. Offers to fight … Continue reading Violence Towards Sexual Assailants
How to Fix Toxic or Abusive Relationships
Can you fix a toxic relationship? How about an abusive one? If you’re in an abusive relationship, the first step is to ask yourself if you really want to fix your relationship. An abusive partner does not respect you. They think that they are entitled to control your existence and your experience as a human. … Continue reading How to Fix Toxic or Abusive Relationships
How Should a Community Respond to Abuse?
So, what *should* a community do when one of their members has been accused of abuse? At its conception, the community needs to make a choice: Is their policy “believe victims, eject abusers” ? That’s a valid approach. It means that people will lose out on a communal social resource for misunderstandings, co-dependent toxic dynamics, … Continue reading How Should a Community Respond to Abuse?
Learning Spaces Cannot be Safe Spaces
One of my professors said something to me that I hated when I first heard it. He said, “learning spaces cannot be safe spaces.” I resisted that concept initially, because it seemed counterintuitive and unfair. I should always be able to ensure that my classroom, that the online groups where I moderate, that meetings with … Continue reading Learning Spaces Cannot be Safe Spaces