Tag: sex
cw: rape, sexual assault, violence . . . . Folks, especially men: when you hear about sexual assault or rape, your first response should not be to threaten violence. “I’d kill a rapist” is something that we frequently hear from loud, male feminists as a knee-jerk response to hearing about sexual violence. Offers to fight … Continue reading Violence Towards Sexual Assailants
Sexual Behaviorism I work as a sexual behavior specialist for adults with intellectual disabilities. That means that I work with clients to help them make healthy behavior changes within the realm of sexual needs. Okay, so…what does that mean? Behaviorists believe that every behavior has a cause. No action appears out of the blue. We … Continue reading Birth Control and Intellectual Disabilities
In my post on the difference between enthusiastic consent and explicit consent, I mentioned that in long term relationships, people sometimes have motivations for sex other than libido. People have sex to build intimacy, try to get pregnant, release stress, for relationship maintenance… There are a ton of reasons to get up close and personal … Continue reading On Being “Seducible”
Sex can be physically painful, and that doesn't mean "you're doing it wrong". When we speak with young people about sex in frank and honest ways, one question that we often hear is "does sex hurt?" We hear this question because there's a common line in media and conversations about sex, which says how much … Continue reading Troubleshooting Sex
How sexual trauma can affect sexual attraction and orientation, and the implications for queer fights and queer rights. A lot of times when someone comes out of the closet as queer, ignorant people assume that it’s because they’ve experienced sexual trauma. They figure, someone must have hurt this person to make them no longer want … Continue reading Sexual Trauma and Queer Rights
Being sex positive does not mean teaching that sex isn’t risky. I got some confused and upset private responses* to last week’s blog post, specifically to the part where I said that partnered sex is a risky and complicated activity, and is an activity for adults. The folks who were concerned felt like calling … Continue reading Sex is Risky (But Good!)
Something that I sometimes hear from sex positive educators and adults is “if people aren’t comfortable talking about sex, they shouldn’t be having it.” And like, okay, that’s a really valid desire. I *also* want to make sure that everyone is communicating clearly and explicitly about everything, and especially something so risky and complicated as … Continue reading Negotiating Sex with Shy People
Today, I'm talking about kinks that mimic illegal or unethical acts. So content warning for discussions of pedophilia, rape, incest, and other stuff that is bad. . . . . . . . . . . . . . First, I'm going to define some kink terms and dynamics, for those who are unfamiliar: … Continue reading Consensual Kinks Aren’t Unethical
(CW for c*** and p****) Petition to allow “vulva” to be a sensual word. Not necessarily a sexual word. A vulva is a normal part of the anatomy, and we don’t need to sexualize it in all contexts. The vulva is something that can get hurt, or be painful. It can have medical … Continue reading The Sensual Vulva
I'm going to talk about vulvas. If you don't like to think about those, don't read this post. But if you have a vulva, or regularly interact with one, you should probably work to become comfortable thinking about them. They're a body part just like any other, and sometimes they need care or consideration. … Continue reading Vulva Facts: AMA
