Besides the emotional differences between monogamy and polyamory, there are some logistical differences. The big one is, of course, scheduling, but there’s also the possibility of having to restructure how you communicate, prioritize time and energy, care for your health, and show consideration and respect in intimate ways to more people than you’re used to. … Continue reading Polyamorous Logistics!
I tend to find that people come to polyamory in one of two ways. One, they’re in an existing dyad, and one or both partners decide together that their relationship will be improved by opening it up, or that they will both be happier/living more ethically in a non-monogamous relationship. Two, someone finds out about … Continue reading Polyam Motivation! Why Open Up?
The next several posts will be about polyamory, so today we get a quick primer. Monogamy is the idea that one person should or will fulfill all of your romantic and sexual needs (or at least, that you should only be having sex and romantic connections with one person). There’s nothing inherently wrong with … Continue reading Polyamory Primer
Something that I sometimes hear from sex positive educators and adults is “if people aren’t comfortable talking about sex, they shouldn’t be having it.” And like, okay, that’s a really valid desire. I *also* want to make sure that everyone is communicating clearly and explicitly about everything, and especially something so risky and complicated as … Continue reading Negotiating Sex with Shy People
What can a favor look like? Maybe you didn’t plan your day out very well, and you didn’t leave yourself time to grocery shop, so someone else does that shopping for you. Or you’re running late for work, so your partner makes you breakfast and lunch. Or your friend is willing to reschedule quality time, … Continue reading Try saying “thank you” instead of “I’m sorry”
Something doesn't have to be terrible for you to take steps to fix it. I have a backpack, and I frequently overfill it to the extent that I cause myself severe back pain. When I start cramping up between my shoulder blades, I remember that I can hoist up my bag and fasten it … Continue reading Fix the Small Problems
Each of us learns words through context. Sure, we look up dictionary definitions for some words, but the rest we pick up by hearing them being used. In books, in conversations, in movies or songs. Sometimes we learn words by asking a parent, “what does that mean?” and the reply our parent gives us is … Continue reading Intentional Lexical Assimilation
Doing emotional labor is only easier for adult women because we’ve been doing it our entire lives. We’ve always been expected to carry the weight of solving our relationship problems, and to hold the burdens of our loved ones’ difficulties. By the time we’re adults, we’ve been navigating our own minds and needs for … Continue reading Transitioning the Burden of Emotional Labor
Some dude on FetLife wrote a note about how it’s important for men to memorize their lady partners’ menstrual cycles. He made some valid points about being prepared for hygiene needs and being able to know more about his partner’s body by knowing where in her cycle she was, and how having sex during menstruation … Continue reading PMS isn’t a Personality
This post is going to involve a lot of carefully defined terms. 1. There’s a difference between saying that everyone has the right to have sex, and everyone is entitled to have sex. I’m carefully not using the word “deserves” in that sentence, because it’s a tricky word that has different connotations, depending … Continue reading Sexual Pleasure is a Right