Hi folks! Yesterday, we talked about asexuality, so today it must be time for Aromanticism! 2) Aromantic What does it mean to be aromantic? Well, remember that the prefix "a" means "not". So aromantic folks are not-romantic! Now, I don't mean that they're just super staid in their relationships, and hate flowers and candles. I … Continue reading Aromantic 101
A quick thought, for people wondering if any of their friends, acquaintances, or community members are abusers: Where are their exes? It’s always possible that a particular break-up was too painful for continued contact – that happens a lot. We switch social circles and communities often, to optimize comfort and support. But a … Continue reading Where Are Their Exes?
It's pride month! I'm going to do a quick breakdown of the pride acronym and share a few variations! The most common acronym that you'll see around is LGBTQ . You'll also get LGBT, LGBTQIA, LGBTQIAP, LGBTQ+, LGB, QuILTBAG, etc . These letters stand for: Lesbian – a woman who is primarily or exclusively attracted … Continue reading June is Pride Month
cw: abuse What happens when your abuser has more social capital than you do? Something that I see often is consent-driven communities that have an abuser problem. Why does this happen? Because the community is hierarchy based (as all communities are), and doesn’t have a way to address, let alone remove, abusers with … Continue reading Abusers with Social Capital: What Happens?
Besides the emotional differences between monogamy and polyamory, there are some logistical differences. The big one is, of course, scheduling, but there’s also the possibility of having to restructure how you communicate, prioritize time and energy, care for your health, and show consideration and respect in intimate ways to more people than you’re used to. … Continue reading Polyamorous Logistics!
I tend to find that people come to polyamory in one of two ways. One, they’re in an existing dyad, and one or both partners decide together that their relationship will be improved by opening it up, or that they will both be happier/living more ethically in a non-monogamous relationship. Two, someone finds out about … Continue reading Polyam Motivation! Why Open Up?
The next several posts will be about polyamory, so today we get a quick primer. Monogamy is the idea that one person should or will fulfill all of your romantic and sexual needs (or at least, that you should only be having sex and romantic connections with one person). There’s nothing inherently wrong with … Continue reading Polyamory Primer
Something that I sometimes hear from sex positive educators and adults is “if people aren’t comfortable talking about sex, they shouldn’t be having it.” And like, okay, that’s a really valid desire. I *also* want to make sure that everyone is communicating clearly and explicitly about everything, and especially something so risky and complicated as … Continue reading Negotiating Sex with Shy People
What can a favor look like? Maybe you didn’t plan your day out very well, and you didn’t leave yourself time to grocery shop, so someone else does that shopping for you. Or you’re running late for work, so your partner makes you breakfast and lunch. Or your friend is willing to reschedule quality time, … Continue reading Try saying “thank you” instead of “I’m sorry”
Something doesn't have to be terrible for you to take steps to fix it. I have a backpack, and I frequently overfill it to the extent that I cause myself severe back pain. When I start cramping up between my shoulder blades, I remember that I can hoist up my bag and fasten it … Continue reading Fix the Small Problems