Tag: consent

Birth Control and Intellectual Disabilities

Birth Control and Intellectual Disabilities

Sexual Behaviorism I work as a sexual behavior specialist for adults with intellectual disabilities. That means that I work with clients to help them make healthy behavior changes within the realm of sexual needs. Okay, so…what does that mean? Behaviorists believe that every behavior has a cause. No action appears out of the blue. We … Continue reading Birth Control and Intellectual Disabilities

On Being “Seducible”

On Being “Seducible”

In my post on the difference between enthusiastic consent and explicit consent, I mentioned that in long term relationships, people sometimes have motivations for sex other than libido. People have sex to build intimacy, try to get pregnant, release stress, for relationship maintenance… There are a ton of reasons to get up close and personal … Continue reading On Being “Seducible”

No Rewards for the Bare Minimum

No Rewards for the Bare Minimum

On a weekend trip to Boston, several years ago, I met a cute guy at a club. We danced and made out, and at the end of the night we made plans to meet up at his place for a pancake breakfast the next morning. After a horrible trudge through the snow in sneakers, and … Continue reading No Rewards for the Bare Minimum

Negotiating Sex with Shy People

Negotiating Sex with Shy People

Something that I sometimes hear from sex positive educators and adults is “if people aren’t comfortable talking about sex, they shouldn’t be having it.” And like, okay, that’s a really valid desire. I *also* want to make sure that everyone is communicating clearly and explicitly about everything, and especially something so risky and complicated as … Continue reading Negotiating Sex with Shy People

It’s Time to Talk About Age Gaps

It’s Time to Talk About Age Gaps

You guys, it’s time to talk about large age gaps in relationships. Specifically, when men in their 30s and 40s date woman* in their late teens and early 20s.  Let's break down why it happens, why it can be dangerous, and best practices, if you do end up in a relationship like that. I do, … Continue reading It’s Time to Talk About Age Gaps

Enthusiastic versus Explicit Consent

Enthusiastic versus Explicit Consent

Enthusiastic versus Explicit Consent: When you first meet a sex partner, and you’re asking for clear and verbal consent, the last thing you want is a lackluster reply. “Can I go down on you?” “Uh, sure, I guess so.” That response is technically a “yes,” but it certainly doesn’t sound like a person who wants … Continue reading Enthusiastic versus Explicit Consent