Tag: romance

Aromantic 101

Aromantic 101

Hi folks! Yesterday, we talked about asexuality, so today it must be time for Aromanticism! 2) Aromantic What does it mean to be aromantic? Well, remember that the prefix "a" means "not". So aromantic folks are not-romantic! Now, I don't mean that they're just super staid in their relationships, and hate flowers and candles. I … Continue reading Aromantic 101

Negotiating Sex with Shy People

Negotiating Sex with Shy People

Something that I sometimes hear from sex positive educators and adults is “if people aren’t comfortable talking about sex, they shouldn’t be having it.” And like, okay, that’s a really valid desire. I *also* want to make sure that everyone is communicating clearly and explicitly about everything, and especially something so risky and complicated as … Continue reading Negotiating Sex with Shy People

Sexual Pleasure is a Right

Sexual Pleasure is a Right

This post is going to involve a lot of carefully defined terms.     1. There’s a difference between saying that everyone has the right to have sex, and everyone is entitled to have sex. I’m carefully not using the word “deserves” in that sentence, because it’s a tricky word that has different connotations, depending … Continue reading Sexual Pleasure is a Right

Compromises! Or, the Thumb Trick

Compromises! Or, the Thumb Trick

  Sometimes, we indicate preference because we feel strongly about a thing. And sometimes we indicate preference, but we don’t care *that* much. How can we communicate this?   I wrote last week about respecting and appreciating boundaries. For thanking people when they tell you what they want and need, because it will make your … Continue reading Compromises! Or, the Thumb Trick

Enthusiastic versus Explicit Consent

Enthusiastic versus Explicit Consent

Enthusiastic versus Explicit Consent: When you first meet a sex partner, and you’re asking for clear and verbal consent, the last thing you want is a lackluster reply. “Can I go down on you?” “Uh, sure, I guess so.” That response is technically a “yes,” but it certainly doesn’t sound like a person who wants … Continue reading Enthusiastic versus Explicit Consent

You don’t have to love my mental illness

You don’t have to love my mental illness

Today I’m thinking about this: It’s possible to love someone, hugely and entirely, and not love every single thing about them. We see romantic declarations in media where a woman feels insecure about herself and lists off a few flaws, and her romantic interest insists that he loves ALL of her, including her flaws, because … Continue reading You don’t have to love my mental illness