Tag: romance
In my post on the difference between enthusiastic consent and explicit consent, I mentioned that in long term relationships, people sometimes have motivations for sex other than libido. People have sex to build intimacy, try to get pregnant, release stress, for relationship maintenance… There are a ton of reasons to get up close and personal … Continue reading On Being “Seducible”
Hi folks! Yesterday, we talked about asexuality, so today it must be time for Aromanticism! 2) Aromantic What does it mean to be aromantic? Well, remember that the prefix "a" means "not". So aromantic folks are not-romantic! Now, I don't mean that they're just super staid in their relationships, and hate flowers and candles. I … Continue reading Aromantic 101
Hi folks! Yesterday, we talked about asexuality, so today it must be time for Aromanticism! 2) Aromantic What does it mean to be aromantic? Well, remember that the prefix "a" means "not". So aromantic folks are not-romantic! Now, I don't mean that they're just super staid in their relationships, and hate flowers and candles. I … Continue reading Aromantic 101
Something that I sometimes hear from sex positive educators and adults is “if people aren’t comfortable talking about sex, they shouldn’t be having it.” And like, okay, that’s a really valid desire. I *also* want to make sure that everyone is communicating clearly and explicitly about everything, and especially something so risky and complicated as … Continue reading Negotiating Sex with Shy People
This post is going to involve a lot of carefully defined terms. 1. There’s a difference between saying that everyone has the right to have sex, and everyone is entitled to have sex. I’m carefully not using the word “deserves” in that sentence, because it’s a tricky word that has different connotations, depending … Continue reading Sexual Pleasure is a Right
Sometimes, we indicate preference because we feel strongly about a thing. And sometimes we indicate preference, but we don’t care *that* much. How can we communicate this? I wrote last week about respecting and appreciating boundaries. For thanking people when they tell you what they want and need, because it will make your … Continue reading Compromises! Or, the Thumb Trick
Enthusiastic versus Explicit Consent: When you first meet a sex partner, and you’re asking for clear and verbal consent, the last thing you want is a lackluster reply. “Can I go down on you?” “Uh, sure, I guess so.” That response is technically a “yes,” but it certainly doesn’t sound like a person who wants … Continue reading Enthusiastic versus Explicit Consent
So, this post is a bit of corollary to yesterday’s post, about asking for consent for platonic touch. There are two kinds of consent that I’ll talk about here: “yes means yes” consent and “no means no” consent. When we say that we strive for “yes means yes” consent in our relationships, what we mean … Continue reading “Yes Means Yes” Consent
Today I’m thinking about this: It’s possible to love someone, hugely and entirely, and not love every single thing about them. We see romantic declarations in media where a woman feels insecure about herself and lists off a few flaws, and her romantic interest insists that he loves ALL of her, including her flaws, because … Continue reading You don’t have to love my mental illness
Cerebral Sexuality 