What are we asking for men to do when they hear another man say something inappropriate? Say “hey, whoah, that’s not cool,” IN THE MOMENT. Don’t come up to women afterwards and say “man, that was weird, wasn’t it?” or “I’m so sorry he said that, I could tell it made you uncomfortable,” or … Continue reading What Should Men Do?
Doing emotional labor is only easier for adult women because we’ve been doing it our entire lives. We’ve always been expected to carry the weight of solving our relationship problems, and to hold the burdens of our loved ones’ difficulties. By the time we’re adults, we’ve been navigating our own minds and needs for … Continue reading Transitioning the Burden of Emotional Labor
Important reminder for anyone working in software development, IT, data analysis, or any other field where you’re looking at data about humans or creating computer/AI tools: If someone asks you to create a tool or report that gathers people by category, you NEED to ask yourself “what harm could be done if this information got … Continue reading Responsible Data
Whenever there is a story or a headline talking about something that “a man” or “men” have done, feminist-flagging dudes flock to respond: “that’s not a man! He may be a *male*, but real men do _____,” or “a man would never treat you that way – that’s a boy.” Y’all, you are being … Continue reading Men, not Males
Hey, cis dudes. Here are some fucked up things about the patriarchy and rape culture* that you might not realize: Women who don’t get cat-called or harassed feel ugly because of that lack. We know that attractive women get harassed all of the time, and that harassment is about power and objectification, and that … Continue reading Hey, cis dudes
“It’s not your job to fix men” doesn’t mean “men don’t deserve support and care”. Men can have injuries. Men can be stressed from work. They can struggle with mental illness, or be overwhelmed by social changes, or feel angry and hurt. They can be confused and upset. Men can be depressed or anxious, and … Continue reading It’s Not Your Job to Fix Men
Sympathy for the Feminist Men Who Used to be “Nice Guys”: Being lonely is really hard. It’s hard to be single, and to not have close friends. It’s even harder to be single and lonely in a society that has taught you that the only permissible emotional intimacy is between you and your romantic partner. … Continue reading Sympathy for the Feminist Men Who Used to be “Nice Guys”