Tag: communication
Fellas, stop trying to be "chivalrous" and just be polite. If you're treating men and women in the same kind way, then you're not being chivalrous. Chivalry is a word historically connected with courting, romance, and the complicated forms of behavior used to show that you were of high class and worthy of a lady. … Continue reading Chivalry vs Manners
Each of us learns words through context. Sure, we look up dictionary definitions for some words, but the rest we pick up by hearing them being used. In books, in conversations, in movies or songs. Sometimes we learn words by asking a parent, “what does that mean?” and the reply our parent gives us is … Continue reading Intentional Lexical Assimilation
Doing emotional labor is only easier for adult women because we’ve been doing it our entire lives. We’ve always been expected to carry the weight of solving our relationship problems, and to hold the burdens of our loved ones’ difficulties. By the time we’re adults, we’ve been navigating our own minds and needs for … Continue reading Transitioning the Burden of Emotional Labor
Adulting life hack: Ask for help from professionals and don’t be afraid to look stupid. Before I had a smart phone, I used to sit at the very front of the bus, nervously trying to scan the street names as we passed them, so I’d be able to get off the bus at the right … Continue reading Look Stupid, Ask for Help
This post is going to involve a lot of carefully defined terms. 1. There’s a difference between saying that everyone has the right to have sex, and everyone is entitled to have sex. I’m carefully not using the word “deserves” in that sentence, because it’s a tricky word that has different connotations, depending … Continue reading Sexual Pleasure is a Right
Sometimes, people get upset. Sometimes is hopefully not all of the time. People can be children or friends or partners or siblings or students or parents. Upset can be angry or sad or distressed or uncomfortable. Here's a few tricks to deal with that. Please note: these tricks mostly only work on your peers, … Continue reading sometimes people get upset
What is a productive conversation? A productive conversation is a conversation in which all members feel heard, they feel like their concerns or thoughts are validated (even if no one else agrees with them), and all members come out of it with a similar idea of the next step. It can be about something as … Continue reading Productive Conversations
Do you catch yourself getting into arguments frequently? Are you tired of getting all fired up and angry? Are you willing to do a little bit of work to keep a calm household? Check this out: Learn to “zoop”*! When two people get into an argument, it’s rarely an immediate explosion. Most arguments start with: … Continue reading Learn to Zoop! (argument de-escalation)
(mostly for kiddos aged 7-13, or so) If you’re not comfortable with your kid looking at pornographic images, that makes a lot of sense. Sexually explicit imagery is generally past the developmental level of younger kids, who are experiencing body curiosity and trying to catch up with their peers, not necessarily looking for sexual gratification. … Continue reading Talking to Kids About Porn
In my Submission 101 class over the weekend, one concept that people kept coming back to was that they wanted some bits or pieces of a typical kinky relationship, but not the other pieces. Three different people stayed after the class and loitered in corners until I was free, and they all asked essentially the … Continue reading Choose Your Own Adventure – Relationship Edition
Cerebral Sexuality 