Month: March 2018
Something doesn't have to be terrible for you to take steps to fix it. I have a backpack, and I frequently overfill it to the extent that I cause myself severe back pain. When I start cramping up between my shoulder blades, I remember that I can hoist up my bag and fasten it … Continue reading Fix the Small Problems
(CW for c*** and p****) Petition to allow “vulva” to be a sensual word. Not necessarily a sexual word. A vulva is a normal part of the anatomy, and we don’t need to sexualize it in all contexts. The vulva is something that can get hurt, or be painful. It can have medical … Continue reading The Sensual Vulva
I'm going to talk about vulvas. If you don't like to think about those, don't read this post. But if you have a vulva, or regularly interact with one, you should probably work to become comfortable thinking about them. They're a body part just like any other, and sometimes they need care or consideration. … Continue reading Vulva Facts: AMA
Fellas, stop trying to be "chivalrous" and just be polite. If you're treating men and women in the same kind way, then you're not being chivalrous. Chivalry is a word historically connected with courting, romance, and the complicated forms of behavior used to show that you were of high class and worthy of a lady. … Continue reading Chivalry vs Manners
Each of us learns words through context. Sure, we look up dictionary definitions for some words, but the rest we pick up by hearing them being used. In books, in conversations, in movies or songs. Sometimes we learn words by asking a parent, “what does that mean?” and the reply our parent gives us is … Continue reading Intentional Lexical Assimilation
Doing emotional labor is only easier for adult women because we’ve been doing it our entire lives. We’ve always been expected to carry the weight of solving our relationship problems, and to hold the burdens of our loved ones’ difficulties. By the time we’re adults, we’ve been navigating our own minds and needs for … Continue reading Transitioning the Burden of Emotional Labor
Some dude on FetLife wrote a note about how it’s important for men to memorize their lady partners’ menstrual cycles. He made some valid points about being prepared for hygiene needs and being able to know more about his partner’s body by knowing where in her cycle she was, and how having sex during menstruation … Continue reading PMS isn’t a Personality
One of my professors said something to me that I hated when I first heard it. He said, “learning spaces cannot be safe spaces.” I resisted that concept initially, because it seemed counterintuitive and unfair. I should always be able to ensure that my classroom, that the online groups where I moderate, that meetings with … Continue reading Learning Spaces Cannot be Safe Spaces
Adulting life hack: Ask for help from professionals and don’t be afraid to look stupid. Before I had a smart phone, I used to sit at the very front of the bus, nervously trying to scan the street names as we passed them, so I’d be able to get off the bus at the right … Continue reading Look Stupid, Ask for Help
Important reminder for anyone working in software development, IT, data analysis, or any other field where you’re looking at data about humans or creating computer/AI tools: If someone asks you to create a tool or report that gathers people by category, you NEED to ask yourself “what harm could be done if this information got … Continue reading Responsible Data
Cerebral Sexuality 