It’s National Coming Out Day. I am fairly open about my identity, but I think it’s worth being very clear sometimes.

I am queer. I started out identifying as a lesbian in 7^th grade, then realized in 11^th grade that I was bisexual. I have since identified as a lesbian again, as pansexual, and finally as queer. It’s a word with some heavy history, but it feels like the appropriate word to describe how I feel attraction and how I date. I have partners of four different genders, both within the gender binary, and out of it.

As that last sentence might have tipped you off, I am also polyamorous. I (personally) don’t feel as if polyamory is a queer identity, but I want to mention it here because it is extremely important to me that I be able to express love for all of the people that I am dating. I live within a polyamorous household, and I intend to spend the rest of my life maintaining a queer and polyamorous community in which I give love and support and receive love and support from all of the people who are so important to me.

Remember that no one has to come out on National Coming Out Day. It’s a day to be visible, to remind people that LGBTQIA* folks exist all around them, but it is by no means an obligation. Coming out is a process, and each person gets to do that on their own timeline, to their own comfort and safety.

I love you all.

*the “A” stands for asexual, aromantic, or agender. The “A” does NOT stand for ally.

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